the end of summer

oh the daze of summer is soon approaching its end, and here i am, sitting in front of my computer on a rainy tuesday morning.

i leave for a wedding on thursday. i am a bridesmaid. it is my first time being in a bridal party like this, and i feel as if i have been the least helpful bridesmaid. of course, the bride, my best friend steph, lives in maryland and the wedding is in dc, so i've just been around more for moral support over the phone.

i remember when i first heard that steph got engaged. it was a moment that definitely signified the end of something, and the beginning of something else. but of what? at first i thought it was the end of best friends and the beginning of best couple, but i realized that those thoughts were brought on by my own insecurities and issues.

it's true that i don't really believe in marriage, but i don't think that was the issue since a couple of my other friends had gotten married over the last couple years. i think the real issue was that i had been holding on to the hope that steph would some day move back to new york and we would be reunited as best friends in the same city once again. but with her engagement, i knew this hope was no longer a feasible option.

however, once i accepted this change, it was fine. i knew that life would be a little different for me, but i would continue to be friends with steph. just not in the same exact way. and i was ok with that.