photo: moldypeaches.com

like my moldy peaches painting? photoshop is fun!

02.1.03 -- had many conversations last night about single women looking for decent boyfriend material. it's hard to find one in new york. most of the good ones are engaged. and some girls want a rock star. other girls want a doctor. either way, they're liable to be poor (rock star) or ugly (doctor). sigh. well maybe here's a solution. exso. simon banna looks like a catch, but he's from london. bastard. at least it's a few minutes worth of amusement.

i just found out the hipster handbook is not coming out until feb. 18. so i'm just going to stop putting excerpts up because they're stupid, and they're annoying. whatever!

french kicks are working on the uk version of one time bells, and it will have the owl on it, but the look of the cd itself will be different. can't wait! more owls! they should put my pigeons on it, damnit. speaking of the french kicks, check out the fag hag wwfkd and the hamilton poser one has been slightly updated.

uh was that really stewart lupton who posted to the walkmen message boards? trippy.

there's a new band signed to star time, but i don't remember what they're called cuz i was kind of tipsy last night when i heard about it. i do remember that it starts with "the". will keep you posted. oh and there might be a kick-ass compilaton released from the label soon. details haven't been confirmed yet!

so this is where the publicity for the show i'm putting together at luxx starts! as you know the moldy peaches are on break right now to have time to work on their solo/side projects. and i had the superb idea for a moldy peaches side projects show! mark your calendars! the show is gonna be march 12th at luxx. kimya, steven, jack, toby, and strictly beats have agreed to play. adam can't cuz he's on tour. but it's still going to be fucking amazing!

photo: mclusky

winner of 2002's funniest song titles...

01.30.03 -- our new favorite band: McLusky. we like them so much for their inspiring song titles and their kick ass rock. thank you drew and thank you fiona. who can resist such snide song titles like Lightsabre Cocksucking Blues or No New Wave No Fun. and album title is McLusky Do Dallas. we likey. but when we looked at virgin union square and tower, they were out of stock. fuckers! even insound is out of stock!! will try other music tomorrow if i get there before it closes.

i'm not sure if art makes me horny or if i am into this band half-seas-over, but i'm very very curious about the happy birthday hideout. miker told me about his experience at this loft/performance space, and it sounds intriguing. map it. and i have no idea who ersatz studio (pretentious name) is, but it seems they will be playing there feb. 1! rock and roll! i might go and check it out... see you there after rachel's housewarming?

so we told you yesterday that the french kicks now have a new drummer. the dude, we hear, is from the recoys -- which walkmen hamilton and peter used to be a part of. sources say he is a keeper, not just a carson daly show stand-in. we are sad to see the singer-drummer thing go. it was one thing that made the french kicks, well, kick. whatever.

i have a craving for the smiths' oscillate wildly. i requested it like a million times yesterday on kexp and they didn't play it. SHIT LIST. anyway i decided to take things into my own hands and put it on my own damn site. soon damnit, soon!

today's hipster handbook excerpt:
lines non-hipsters use to lure hipsters
* you must be an artist.
* i only drink microbrews like amstel light and sam adams.
* ever read any wally lamb? i love alternative literature.
* it's so nice to see hooters that aren't made of silicone.
* i'm into electronica, especially moby.
* can i buy you a bahama mama?
* i want to get a tattoo but can't decide on the design.
*aren't you in my yoga class at crunch?
* i'm into kinky shit like 91/2 Weeks.
* have you accepted jesus as your personal savior?
* wanna go to a kegger?
* i like all kinds of music.
* does your tongue ring make things feel different?

wanna say now that anna took me to the bookstore on bedford. she was sad when i didn't mention that fact in yesterday's entry. also, she's been on a yuppie pricks kick and can't get enough coke party. they're kind of too maxim for me.

photo: thenaturalhistory.com

natural or unnatural?

01.29.03 -- dude, my scathing review of mc paul barman and whirlwind heat is finally up on prefix after more than a month after the show. gee, thanks, guys. i think the editors (i used to be one there until i quit due to professional differences) cut out the part where i quoted rachel: this is what rap would sound like if a robot tried to rap!

for a smile, click here.

went to the see the french kicks on carson daly around 8 p.m. but dudes, nick the singing drummer was NOT drumming. he and his 7 foot tall stature stood front and center for the performance, while mystery drummer kicked away. wtf? nick even reminded me a little bit of dennis realistic. tall and skinny! who knew? that was my first time seeing them live. they sang "wrong side" and a cover of "be my baby", which really showed off nick's vocal range. bravo. also, they were all stylin' with cutesy 'dos. did they get all dolled up for carson or what?

also, i wanted to thank kexp dj stevie zoom for playing my "french vacation" request this afternoon. a grumbly, drunken hamilton always makes my day go by a lot faster.

was going to see the seconds tonight at bqe lounge, but turns out the show was pushed back to 12:30 from 10:30. uh, i think i'll pass on that. they're the only band that was supposed to play! did they get held up at a local bodega? i bet no one shows up for their show!

stopped by a bookstore on bedford and bought a four-book aa milne classic pooh set for a mere ten bucks. i felt like i was stealing, it was so cheap. must investigate this store further!

as promised, here's the hipster handbook entry for today:
gotta light? hipster cigarettes
* gauloise -- the cigarette to smoke when feeling arty.
* american spirit -- when you are feeling healthy and/or anti-corporate.
* camels -- the most popular hipster cigarette. camels spelled with a K are popular with Clubbers who buy anything with the letter K on it, given their fondness for horse tranquilizers.
* lucky strike -- best to smoke when you are feeling tough and want to appear blue-collar.
*drum -- for hipsters in denial, who say they smoke less if they roll their own.
* imported brands you've never heard of -- smoked by hipsters who aren't really smokers but want a cool accessory.
* newport -- makes your phlegm minty!
*capri -- not for the serious smoker, but they make great props.
* marlboro lights -- totally midtown and should be avoided. note: if you are a woman, marlboro lights (a.k.a. slut butts) are especially suspicious.

tune in tomorrow to find out what colleges are considered hipster ivy leagues!

photo: frenchkicks.com

oh so chilly -- the winner of the french kicks tee shirt contest...

photo: frenchkicks.com

what a hoot. the french kicks obviously have a love of birds...

photo: jin moon

and in light of that bird love, here is my vision of the perfect french kick tee...

01.28.03 -- fiona and her friend drew have got me addicted to kexp's john in the morning! thank you for playing my french kicks "1985" request this morning. and thanks for playing fucking awesome (not "deck") music. fucking awesome. stevie zoom's show also has some fine moments, but sometimes he lapses into hip hop which fucks up my rockin' rhythm. boo! only missy, please.

jco sent me the link to this punk quiz. according to this i am punk. wtf?? noooo thanks! but then i remembered that this quiz was really made for 9 year olds, and that made me feel better. not.

on a happy note, another pic of julian and adam together:

ok, here's another peek into the hipster handbook. i will offer excerpts from the book every day until the book's release on feb. 4. here's today's selection, which made me chuckle:
deck chowder: hipster cocktails
* cosmopolitan, martini, manhattan -- the holy trinity for Hipsters. Some are fond of saying things like, "Manhattans are totally nineties," but they are dumbasses.
* mai tai -- a kitschy cocktail that will make you feel like a drunk, middle-aged femme fatale begging for some steamy afternoon delight.
* tequila sunrise -- when made with a golden tequila and some fresh-squeezed OJ, nothing is more deck. but be careful, the whole aesthetic can be ruined if the bartender stirs the grenadine "sunrise" out of the bottom of the glass. also, tang is never an acceptable substitute for orange juice.
* scotch on the rocks -- simple, classic. a fine scotch drunk from a heavy rocks glass will make you feel like royalty. best consumed in a dark, wood-paneled room whle sitting in a leather chair.
* bloody mary -- the quintessential brunch cocktail. note: asking the waitress for a BM is midtown.
* maker's mark and coke -- though jim bean and jack daniel's are midtown, nothing is classier than the smooth, distinct flavor of maker's mark, the true Hipster whiskey. and no, they didn't pay us to say that.
* mojito -- a new favorite. unfortunatley, when they aren't made with fresh mint and lime, mojitos taste like ass.
* caipirinhas -- this drink is way too sweet. luckily, nobody stocks cachaca, so you'll sound cool ordering it but won't get stuck with a lame cocktail.

tune in tomorrow to find out what kind of cigarettes hipsters smoke! ooooh la la!

photo: ???

self-explanatory...

01.27.03 -- things have been pretty sparse these days, mostly because i've been a sickie. but in the next few days i will be doing much -- not to the advantage of my poor health. but lots of photos will be taken, and hell will be stirred up. i swear! i guess.

by now i'm assuming that most of you have seen one of the upcoming wwfkd:
is hamilton a poser?

and an excerpt from the forthcoming hipster handbook:
popular hipster pickup lines:
1) your studio or mine?
2) fuck off, cunt. (appearing agressively misanthropic is an easy way to woo a potential hookup. the term "cunt" is genderless to the Hipster, making this come-on usefult o men and women alike.)
3) didn't we meet at the wto march?
4) did you get your tattoo done at ___? (add name of tattoo parlor)
5) wanna see my slides sometime?
6) do you like GBV?
7) i like seaweed and fresh greens.
8) got any weed?
9) waddup with all the losers here?
10) i bet you'd look hot in jodhpurs.
11) i was hanging out in this neighborhood before it got gentrified.

that's fucking bullshit.

ok, let me just say if my mug is on the ed2010 site, i probably won't be happy. i was having a majorly bad hair day. BADDDDDDDDD. was happy hour at the pod totally stupid or what? i did find out some valuable info tho...bwahahahaha.

photo: ???

i refuse to believe i'm this high maintenance...

01.26.03 -- by popular demand, i've written the complementary quiz to "who's your indie rock boyfriend" -- "who's your indie rock girlfriend?" it's silly, it's fun, and here to rock your world. enjoy!

fyi, i got meg white when i took the quiz, but keith thinks that if i answered the quiz "truthfully" i would get melissa burns from w.i.t. -- a.k.a. he thinks i'm very high maintenance. thanks a lot, keith.