All In the Family

So my sister told me that our grandfather died over the weekend. Usually it would follow that there would be some sadness felt here, but I don't feel sad. I didn't even know the man. He had abandoned my grandmother long ago, and was still living in Korea at a monastery or something.

Here's my question: If you are blood-related to someone but you didn't really know them while they were alive, should you feel sad when they pass on? Connected? Sad for the disconnection?

Most of the stories in my family's life follow the typical dysfunctional family outlines. No one gets along. There are a lot of myths floating around about various members of the family, in particular mine, because my immediate family is the only one with a broken marriage... two broken marriages, in fact.

I know I have some family out there on the West Coast, too, that I don't really know well, but at least I've met them before. But I've often wondered the same question about them -- them being my birth mother and my "whole" sister, who happens to be a year younger than me. I'm almost positive I would be sad. I think I've always hoped that when I got older, I could reconnect with them in a meaningful way, without all the dysfunction. Perhaps that will still happen one day.

As far as the family I grew up with, I am definitely getting closer to my sister Cathy. As she's catapulted into her 20s, I find we have more and more in common. And it's a nice feeling when I can actually help her with different aspects of her life. I actually feel like a sister. Go figure!

hilly kristal, r.i.p.

i can't believe that hilly kristal died. i remember when i first came to new york, and i was a budding journalist-in-training at the nyu paper. they assigned steph and me to a story on "how punk is dead." we hit the streets of new york and asked various people on the street what their thoughts on the issue were. eventually somehow, we wandered into cbgbs. we thought, this is the perfect place to find the answer.

the venue was as smelly and dirty as ever, and hilly kristal was sitting up front just like in the photo above. we asked him about whether he thought punk was dead and got into an entire discussion about the history of cbgbs. i think we were there for well over an hour listening to his amazing stories. i don't know why he talked to us, but he did. i need to find that cassette interview. it's somewhere in my pile of dead interview tapes.

one day i will resurrect all my funny interviews for all to hear. don't you love technology?